I wrote this last Saturday morning
and was not sure if I wanted to post it since as I warn in the next paragraph, I was speaking out of a rush of anger that came up in me. As, I read over it, I decided I should share…
So, here it is. I will post a more productive and useful blog this weekend. I
already failed posting twice in February. I will make up for it. I have three days
left, and I will add a couple more blogs in that time.
Warning: This blog is angry. I will also
preempt this with saying I do not classify all parents like this, but I do feel
a need to address the loud ones that ARE classifying all teachers and are
willing to cruelly insult and discredit
an entire school family on the grounds of exceptions. We do get praise, but
unfortunately it is not nearly as loud and as obnoxious as the insults and
complaint. I address the parents and media that do not get addressed anymore
because everyone knows they tend to not know how to listen or are just in it
for big head liners. I do not know if this means anything to those parents and
their consciences, but it makes teachers like me, new and close to burn out as
it is , want to walk away.
As I was
doing my laundry today (very excited I might add since I’ve got myself a PILE”,
I had overwhelming sweeps of desire to finish my list of things to do between
today and tomorrow: finish laundry, organize my lesson plans ( 5 preps for dare I say it, only four days
this week), finish creating my Pre-Algebra Understanding by Design (UbD) unit, complete my paperwork for finding my birth family, help my foreign exchange daughter dress up her prom dress, make bread, make a couple videos for my flipped classroom, make
my grandma’s birthday present (I am making a pop-up card stationary set for her
that a colleague showed me how to do:) , sweep and clean the floors that are
covered in spring dog prints, and complete the transfer of files and programs
to my Mac that I will start to use this week. I also will take some time to do my hobby of
cooking and sitting down to a nice dinner with my family. On top of this list
running through my mind as I was folding shirts, I also had waves of anger that
started taking hold. I did not attend, but I heard that a small crowd of
parents who came to the most recent school board meeting began using insults
and criticism towards the teachers at our school in order to make arguments
against a 4-day week that was not even the topic of the agenda. I realize this may be a small group, but I am
tired of the ignorant voices being the ones that are the loudest. I wanted to
respond to a couple of comments that just drove me nuts.
A comment that all we do at school is
watch movies and a four-day week of longer days would just be more time for
children to watch movies. I will not even respond to this because that is just a really
stupid comment. Don’t even waste my time with gross untruths, but if you are
saying we provide a study hall…
For those of
you that dare to criticize a teacher having a day where the students are given
a study hall because the teacher felt he/she could afford to give that to the
students. Heaven knows the students get behind, and heaven knows we, teachers,
also could use the period to catch up on grading and planning. I tell you it
may happen once in a while that life beyond school does happen once a teacher
goes home. Do parents forget that? Do they think it is okay for a teacher to go
home and do things for his or her family? For me, EVERY DAY there is a list of
things that need to get done for school. Some days, that list does get put
aside because I have promised my family I will do something fun with them,
rather than hole myself up in my room and work on school for the night like I
do pretty much every night. Some days at school will be catch up days.
A comment that anyone can teach. Also not true.
For those of
you that dare say “anyone can teach”, I will only quote my friend’s response
that “anyone can become a parent.” All children are brought before us. We also
become parents, and I will tell you, we do a better job than some of you. Yet,
you do not see us walking into your domain pointing out your weaknesses in an
I-know-all, arrogant manner. There are a lot of home issues these students are
bringing into the school, and there are a lot of changes the school is
attempting to do to try to reform education so we are creating innovative, critical thinking, competitive students, so please!!! stop acting like
there is a quick fix for all of this.
I would
love to have discussion with parents who are willing to talk about ideas for
lessons and integrating real world experiences into my math classes. Please,
come collaborate with me in building lessons, rather than building extravagant
headliners that do nothing productive in your “quest for better education” if
that is indeed your quest. Please do not fool yourself in thinking anyone can
teach.
I know I am
a good teacher. I work hard for it. That does not mean I deliver perfect
lessons, am always on top of it, or know exactly how to fix the things that are
going wrong in my classroom. In fact, I end up questioning every lesson I give
because there are always these contradicting desires:
I want to create more structure and scaffolding to bring all
students into the same playing/learning field, but I want students to have the
ability to be creative and innovative. I
want them to face challenges where they go beyond the structure and
expectations I hold.
I want students to
have the math skills concretely down and I want them to adopt my algorithms and my logic, but I also want them to be creative and form
methods that work for them.
I want to teach them
perfectly, but I would rather they are able to teach me.
I want my students to THINK , not about a grade, but about expansion
of knowledge and creation and productivity that follows from knowledge.
I want them to dive deep into exploring the patterns, processes, connections, and possibilities of my subject, but I have 45 minutes in a day, and students have sports, activities, and jobs that they are too tired for homework.
I am always trying to find the perfect lessons
that will meet these things and it haunts my mind constantly when I wish it
would not- not to mention I also have some very low motivated students that
always haunt me. I go to bed late, and I
wake up early to do my work. My husband actually expects not seeing me very
much during the school year. We try to establish a date night weekly so that at
least one night a week we can spend time with each other, no distractions and
no work. This does not always happen, and you can bet as I sit at a movie, I am
dreading the fact that I could have corrected so many papers or
created this/that activity in that amount of time.
As you read
this, you may think this teacher is crazy. I am. I am crazy about trying to be
the best teacher I can be. I am a bit
more crazy in the amount of time I section off for dedicating myself to this
goal. I am well aware that I pay and my family pays dearly for this, but I am
not alone. I work with another family, of teachers, who most I admire and I am
so glad to teach among. Sometimes we will just stare at each other and ask why
are we doing this. For those of you that dare say we are not trying at our
school, I dare you to find someone to replace us since anyone can teach. I dare
you to instead of complain about us not helping to grow and better your
children, to be PRODUCTIVE and contribute ideas of lessons that will be
helpful. I dare you to try to step down from the high podium you hold yourself
on in knowing what it is like to teach. I dare you to contribute and be
productive in helping to build up a school that teaches worthy knowledge and
truth.
It has been
45 minutes of typing this venting letter.
I will spend no more time on it because I need to go be productive….
mumble… was
it worth trying to address those that do not listen?